I Was Hoping

as we were talking outside it was cold we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter my wife is in the next room we've been having troubles you know please don't tell her or anyone but i need to talk to somebody you said wouldn't it be a shame if i knew how great i was fiveminutes before i died i'd be filled with such regret before i took my last breath and I said you're wiiling to tell me this now and y ou're not going to die any time soon and I said I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything and you said yes but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said we're at the top of the food chain and yes you're still a fine woman and i cringed i was hoping i was hoping we could heal each other i was hoping i was hoping we could be raw together we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you're succesful and established sir and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir and your money and when i walked by thank you too dear I was all pigtails and cords and there was a day when i would've said something like hey dude I could buy and sell this place so kiss it I too once thought i was owed something I was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other i was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up I too thought that when proved wrong i lost somehow i too once thought life was cruel it's a cycle you think i'm withdrawing and gulit tripping you i think you're insensitive and i don't feel heard and i said do you believe we are fundamentally judgemental? fundamentally evil? and you said yes i said i don't believe in revenge in right or wrong good or bad you said well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and she threw a shoe at his head. i think that what he did was wrong and i would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged. i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together