Sunlight On My Porch

I'm told that I should smile more, I know that I should And if I didn't have a missing tooth, just know that I would I know my eyes are alive, but often look at the ground I'm scared and shook, they'd compare the books that we bound I know it's stupid, it sounds, just like the musings of clowns But every word within my music is like shooting off rounds Releasing truth with the hounds, when they pounce on the prey The prey see themselves doing battle with themselves every day I've got plenty even with an empty page I dance with my devils 'til we center in a empty stage I'm sick of seeing grey, I'll do better So if I gotta sing the blues, I think I'll choose new weather I cannot measure up to standards that I've set, I refuse to pay to live when we live to pay debt But, it's a safe bet, brain chained to lame threats I'll kill the snake that's been sent to drain my veins next See my depression is a real thing, but so are the smiles Since I been sober, I'm like "wow, I've been sober a while" No more emotional child, (who) lets emotions get wild No more fighting for the people that hang up when you dial They say that life is a trial, some times it's light and then dark Sometimes a knife is what it takes to bring life to our heart So with this mic I will start I spit the real shit with ease And I hope y'all really feel it but I'm not here to please I'm only curing disease, that is my purpose with these, bars That leave trees carved with deep hearts that bleed I believe I'm getting smarter, and learned to let go It starts with a single step, take that single step slow Don't linger in the hex, with anger on your breath Cuz words can either heal or lead the herd to certain death Release the hurt instead, keep the cold lessons close Cuz with every blessing is a message that we loathe, so we go... I cheated in my mind because I knew I didn't love I spent too many years using women as my drug I was dumb, co-dependent, but depending on the day I would either pull people in or push em all away (say) I try every motherfucking day to break the chains This life is such a vicious cycle that I can't explain Whose mechanics got abandoned in my brain I need to reset or eject from the plane It's a game, it's a shame that certain people vanish Every lesson is a blessing even if it causes damage (so) Grab a bandage, try to manage not to look at time Clean or cook, read a book, see between the lines I'm re-defined, let this preacher speak his mind And if you choose not to listen turn your speaker to the side I found a deeper pride, recognize truth I'm confessing my aggression when I step into the booth, so I... I'll keep fighting I'll keep fighting for Sun shine on my face Sun light on my porch I'll keep walking I'll keep walking toward A brighter day, the past ignored (my life restored)