I Remember

I remember when everything was so dark I remember the pain that left all the scars I remember the hurt and desertion there was no insertion for me I just broke apart I remember the feeling of being lost I remember being something that I'm not I remember the demons, the enemies, crawled like a centipede, all over my insides I remember everything like it was yesterday I built a lot of walls, concealing all the sins I kept at bay Lied a bunch of times, and now I'm writing all these rhymes Hoping everything will turn out for the better, while I wrote this letter To myself hoping everything will come out clear Hoping that I'll stick with Jesus every single year Hoping that I won't return to the dark path I just wanna follow God minus the wrath Yes I know I am forgiven, don't preach to me I just wanna know the Lord more seriously I don't wanna just know about the Lord I wanna know him from my skin deep to my core I wanna know him like a father, and like a friend I wanna know him up until the very end I wanna know him very day, every hour, every minute, every second that I waste is a Second down the drain Holy Spirit please lead me into the light, don't let me wander the forest during the night Don't let me look in the past, look at where I was at, before Jesus had rescued me, held Me tight Help me be the best version, during this conversion, of myself, don't leave me deserted I need you, I need you, right now more than ever, this moment is crucial, more than my Endeavors My actions I know they have severed the skin of the Lord His love could not be measured, on the cross where He bore All the sins of humanity, broke all of the chains, cured me from this insanity Where would I be without him I don't know Would I be the same person if the seed wasn't sown Well I doubt it, this wisdom is from God himself If it wasn't for him I would go straight to Hell Be forgotten, forsaken, my soul would be shaken, as I forget who I am Spend eternity damned, that's a scary existence, I couldn't resist it if I weren't chosen by The great I AM I've been saved from the punishment I see the light right in front of me witness me Running in Running away, I don't think so Running and hiding's no longer my lingo Jesus has gave me the strength and the power to turn from my sin, break down the Walls and towers My demons they're running like cowards, they're scared The darkness don't own me no more let it dare, to steal me from the love God Try it they may, with angels in my squad The word of God is my sword and my shield Jesus help me be bold, I am forever healed I remember the ways of the wicked they're ways make me sick, that is no way of living I remember weight on my chest, my God knows all the rest, now the weight has been Lifted I remember my soul feeling dull from my spine to my teeth, to my heart to my skull I remember the feeling of wondering to myself, what the Hells wrong with me, and that's Not all I remember the moment when I looked to God and said that I hate him, He was my Opponent I took out my anger, and hatred forget what was sacred, I despised the church, did the Enemies work Didn't care about my soul it was not my concern I just hated the world and wished that it had burned, down to the ground, now, ain't that Profound Who do I wanna be That's a question that I have been asking myself repeatedly A question I don't know the answer to, I base my visions on what the Lord says to me All I know is that I wanna make a change in this community, despite the scrutiny I place upon myself, yes I need mental help, forgive me Lord for my anger but I have Tried I have tried to forget my mistakes and the past, but it's hard to forget with my soul in a Cast And because of that fact I feel like I'm conflicted constricted, as if no position In this word I feel like I'm drowning in all of my guilt and my shame always doubting That someone could love me through all of my darkness while I was still heartless That my sins are covered regardless of all of the voices that tell me I'm worthless Convert it to passion to love like a servant, that's Jesus' model there's no other version To love God and neighbors that's why this conversion, is everything, it is the remedy It is the path chosen for me, let's take all these memories, use them to learn in the Future To follow Gods ways, and know where I've been sutured For I have been saved, I have been healed I've been released from the chains that have Kept me concealed It is time to fight back, and we don't need no weapons, the armor of God protects 24/7 His word is the message of hope to reveal, to people who are lost, that the enemy Steals Every day, every hour and minute, the scriptures have said it, now here is a snippet If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins And cleanse us from all the unrighteousness that has been dwelling inside of us That's the work Jesus does In our hearts and our minds and our souls, through the work of His spirit we are then Made whole So we can be bold, so lets have no fear, let us be slow to the tongue and have open Ears This is the message of hope that I wanted to show to the broken hearted who have Never been told That God loves them dearly, if Christians said otherwise they don't know Him clearly, but Know this sincerely Jesus has died so that you could he saved, while we were still sinners the path had Been paved This is the story of how I was saved, thanks for listening to A.S.H