No Tribble At All

I had a drink in the bar as I recall When a trader walked in with a little furball "They're harmless," he said, "and soft as a dream" But soon we were drowning in a tribble stream Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop They eat all your grain then they start to pop From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be Tribbles breed trouble exponentially Kirk's pulling his hair and Scotty's irate Chekov says the grain's creator is up for debate But Spock tilts his brow says it's only a pest Bones fires back, "Spock! Give it a rest." Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop They eat all your grain then they start to pop From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be Tribbles breed trouble exponentially Dax lights up please let us find Koloth tonight O'Brien says was that Kirk then they fight Worf shakes his head I will not discuss As chaos erupts with the Klingons and us But under the grain the truth lay bare The Klingons had poisoned what was hidden there What happened to my coffee and my cordon bleu This tribble is dead and that one is too Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop They eat all your grain then they start to pop From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be Tribbles breed trouble exponentially So keep your circuits open keep your grain in your sight And beware of the critters that breed overnight But with a Klingon roar and a transporter's beam We rid the Enterprise of this tribbling scheme Where there'll be no tribble at all