haunted

Placing a knife in my gut Looming over the foot of my bed My room must be haunted Bearing your teeth Tongue down my throat Heart in my stomach His room was so orange and blue Someone's messing with my thoughts My dreams are haunted Déjà vu, stuck in limbo Stuck in my head I can't help that I've been here before It's just the way that my mind turns Sit on the steps, your eyes shining in the lamplight Our school was so haunted with the dreams of our futures And our lost opportunities, glad we made it out of it We were lucky If not a little scarred, we laugh it off "It built character." The early years of my life Stare at me quietly, longingly, from the shelf Haven't been able to reach them in a while Hardly remember them But I remember him Like he was yesterday The touch of his hands on my chest Still haunting my heart and my veins Wish I could take it all back But maybe, in the end I needed some humbling And I lay awake at night on my side Thinking over and over and over again He's just a boy, a formative experience But then I'm discounting myself Christmas will always be bittersweet Now that the memory of him is weaved through it Right through it Saunter through my day Thoughts pass me by like Flickers of knowledge Glimpses of sadness I try not to get caught up in them I know I don't talk to her enough I'm haunted by regret Don't die yet I wanna go knowing I've healed the spite I've dealt her Over And over And over And over And over And over And over again