Standing Frozen

"Have you learned your lesson?", the Old Man keeps whispering Maybe I'm just restless, or maybe I don't know anything at all The coffee cup's growing cold How many hours have gone? The staff keep on staring, with disdain in their eyes Trapped by the window, I'm waiting for a sign 'Cause I'm lost here, so Could you please let me know What am I doing here? What is my answer here? The end of a chapter of a life That I'd found no comfort in Yet here I am, frozen Afraid of leaving all of it behind Tell me, Old Man Why I am living Once in a while, I get told of tyranny And flashbacks take me back to times when I'd let my own anger free So, how can I atone for it? Who do I ask to forgive? The third cup of coffee is also getting cold I can't wake my feet up to keep moving along! As I still recall The ones that I had hurt moved on So what am I doing here? Am I only good for fear? The end of a chapter of a life That I'd found no comfort in Yet here I am, frozen Afraid I'm still missing important signs Tell me, Old Man Why I am living The Scales of the Judge reappear as I'd feared Balancing it out, like a pat on my shoulder, it drew me near Justice be brought to -- not wrought upon -- you, dear Like lifting a long-forgotten burden It spilled out my tears I was lost, so gone Holding out for others' wants What am I doing here?! Forgetting to love myself, of fear The end of a chapter of a life I'd lost sight of dreams within I'm standing here, frozen The Unknowable still beckons me! I I get it, Old Man: I Am living!