Adolescence

Barley 10 n a half, I done lost my Dad I'm so confused reminiscing on the times we had Hold up Mom is he coming back, he gone for good The concept of death, got dat shit misunderstood Mom's a mess, I dont know what to do She depressed, but I gotta catch dat bus up to school When she told me had a knot in my throat Cancer all up in his lungs, it was not like we hoped, damn I seen the decline quick, wish I could rewind shit Maybe they coulda caught it sooner but, it was too late Is it today, can't go back in time, thoughts swiveling around cloud a young nigga mind uh In my adolescence Been thru so much In my adolescence In my adolescence Mom need antidepressants In my adolescence In my adolescence Young nigga I'm in my adolescence Lost my Pops up in my adolescence I'm in my adolescence His last Birthday I remember he was so weak So ill, he ain't even look the same bruh What to expect, what's next, nobody told me Changed me forever I dont remember the old me At the funeral home, lookin at my Pops, my daddy layin in a box hoping I can stop My mom's from cryin, me n my brother was numb Dough Wish it was a dream waiting for pops to come home All I could think of is the last time I saw my dad He was sick as f*ck but pulled up with some grocery bags Weak as hell, still worried bout the shit we had Think it was July when he pulled up in dat Cadillac Momma told me to help, but then I said no All on the floor, lazy watchin my shows The look of disappointment grabbed the bags and then he fell Thinking back I'm so fuckin disgusted wit myself In my adolescence Been thru so much In my adolescence In my adolescence Mom need antidepressants In my adolescence In my adolescence Young nigga I'm in my adolescence Lost my Pops up in my adolescence I'm in my adolescence Scrapped his knee, he was bleeding on the stairs So caught up with my things, it seemed I didn't even care You shoulda seen the look in his eye It was that day that was the first and the last time dat I seen my dad cry It wasnt because his leg was hurt It wasnt because my dad laying all in the dirt It was because my nigga knew what it was It was his time my Pops had finally realized He couldn't stay wit us for too much longer He knew how much his little boy really needed his Father He knew dat he was gonna die and I ain't understand He aint have the time to teach me how to be a man In my adolescence My adolescence In my adolescence