More of a Curse

Im back and I'm better, maybe thats a lie though Eyes higher than fire smoke, sense of that hydro Momma told me never cry over the spilt coffee Spoilt to a tea, don't be soft like mochi Had to get my passion back, I'm trying more than ever Ex assaulting me, my skin was made of leather Padded down, everyone waiting till all the facts was out Back against the wall, rope a dope never smacked her out Family telling me, she may not be trusted I convinced myself that I loved her Evil intentions in her heart, they where never seen She'd tell me to fight back, i was telling her stop the screams Then she broke furniture in the apartment Neighbours knocking on door, shes too embarrassed to say pardon Im a sitting duck, its bad, it'll be all-good Till she spoke ill of my mother, that it left me so shook I was reading alot, had no books Started seeing behaviour that wasn't very noble Stones werent matching, topaz and opal Depth of field missing, still seeking for the focal Now I'm crying in balcony, sitting in the corner She'd come and cry with me, bringing me some water I wanted to feel better, remembering all the flowers That I purchased, high school crush more of a curse Made love of several, it started loosing the purpose Two court dates and both of them had us nervous I wasn't gonna take her on the three hour drive Till She said she needed me that was on her life And I believed it, so many secrets So many evenings alone, so many reasons, im home Only 6 months in, already beefing, oh no Then we sleeping together Sharing heat in the winter, cold world warm blessings Still It haunts me, nights that I would wake She talking to spirits covering mirrors no faith It still haunts me the times I tried to leave Knife to her leg, yelling at me go be free Thinking that I'm in-love, that ain't even the worst of it Going to my day job, black eye peas ain't working it Scratches on my forearms, bruises on my chest By then a few knew, they all told me to confess Driving to the station, stomach tightens worse than my first gig Ended up going home, my breathing not perfect Key through the door, as I walk in I see her I say I couldn't breathe, she still talking about me leaving Felt numb behind my ears, tasted salt from my tears She call the ambulance, they asking if I'm here First time in 5 months, my head was clear Felt death come near, that night my vision reappeared Allah told me that my heaven is earth I was always moving forward but I never ever learnt Better days ahead of me, I didn't know whats next for me Person I trusted the most, almost brought death to me Azrael will meet me, the day Allah is selecting me Estagfirullah my gunahs got the best of me Buried my cousin last week, that ain't even a lesson g Thats just god testing me, For years the hate was festering Messed up my trajectory, will they ever remember me Take me back exemplary, times show me whats set for me Home and my family, crash landing calamity Vanity of handling my damaged heart its vanishing Epilepsy thoughts, Camera flashes are bad for me So many bars I rap, none of them will matter me Not fit for my anatomy, chatter this Bitch got the man in me, on hold F*ck around and lost my soul Walking the tightest rope Cause my eyes never died But my heights went low I divide all my pride, with the slightest slope And my eyes never died, my heights went low I divide all my pride with the slightest slope Cuz the moral of the story, story with no morals Searching for a real one, found an imposter Ah ah ah Borrowed all my glory, ignoring all her calls Treat her like a queen, even tho I couldn't trust her Even though I couldn't trust her And I found an imposter uh Found an imposter Even though I couldn't trust her