Protector

It was us against the world, nothing could touch us You were my hero, my dream, nothing could stop us Then one day, my life just turned upside down All the colour faded away, shades of grey all around My young soul was so lost and confused I didn't come to you, I felt so wronged and abused Fast forward 20 years, you had the chance to be there You're missing appointments, you were where? Somewhere, but nowhere I needed my mother, I needed your hand Instead, you gave me the cold shoulder, may as well give me a backhand My vision of you is tainted, yet everyone believes you're sainted I hate my name because of what it means, I despise the fact that I share your genes You're deluded, discombobulated, deranged I applaud your brainwashing ways How can a mother watch her daughter carry a secret so heavy? Forcing me to live my life so dark and messy Turned a blind eye, pretend you didn't know Stabbed me in the heart, the ultimate blow Maybe a hug from you was all I needed Having you as a mother, I feel so fucking cheated You are not my mother; you're a birthing vessel A human who was created by the man himself, the devil Because of you, I'm scared to show vulnerability Incapacity, don't have the ability to accept love You were meant to be my protector All through the good, bad and ugly You were meant to be my defender And all you ever had to do was love me You were meant to be my protector All through the good, bad and ugly You were meant to be my defender All you ever had to do was love me I'm conflicted about the fact that you weren't in my life I tried to pull you in, you cut me out with a knife The only thing I see is you trying to retreat Is that all I am to you, that you'd rather delete? Everyone tells me"Just wait, give it time" Why the f*ck should I wait? Now, that's so sublime You were controlled by a woman that won't let you see your child How sad is it to see that you're so in denial? People say I look like you, for me, that's hard to believe Especially when I don't know you, is that all I'm gonna receive? Like a phantom limb, you're missing, but you're there Yet everyone in the family tells me that you really care It makes me feel sick that you're my flesh and blood All through my life, I've been dragged through the mud Not knowing the other half of me, only one eye can see Will you man up, or do I continue to plea? However much I endeavour, we will never meet Because you're a coward, a baby, a yellow-bellied cheat That famous old saying, take life into your own hands That's why I'm writing this, because I'm making a stand You conceived a child many years ago But why did you bother if you weren't going to watch her grow? The worst thing is you live 30 minutes away F*ck you, you'll realise what you missed one day You were meant to be my protector All through the good bad and ugly You were meant to by my defender All you had to do was love me