LOST IN MY OWN MIND

Wandring through the jungle lost and then I fumble Lose the map, it's all I had and now I'm left to struggle Hearing lots of voices all are telling me where to go Pointed in all different directions, which is right, I don't know Lost is a hard feeling having no ideas Put em down on paper erase it out of fear Put yourself out there repeat it Doesn't always work anxiety eats me Negativity in my head but whatever Stronger than that stupid voice said no one ever Rational thought doesn't live here it's next door You mean the boarded up door no the 4 door Racing thoughts is what my therapist tells me Lost my mind enough time to memorize it Try to find some meds they can sell me Nothing helps any attempt is paralyzing Countless nights spent up just getting distracted Had a deadline then I missed it don't at me Can barely keep my day job schedule straight I guess my only option left is to be late Sooner or later I'll have to get my act together That's a pipedream unrealistic but whatever I can do what I want, college dropout it's my life Too bad the only thing I've found so far is hella strife One step forward three steps back Half expecting at this point I'll end up with a heart attack Had enough addictions in the past that I've lost count At least it feels that way mountainous amount Maybe I'll sort it out through music Maybe it's wishful thinking but if it helps I'll use it Really getting sick and tired of my brain abusing itself Really wishing I could stick myself on the highest shelf Quickly overwhelmed by any load or labor Made to do list didn't help or do me favors How much of this did I just bring on myself A question I ask myself everyday just give me hell Move around a lot hope location brings answers Never really does as my options get scarcer Rural or city neither give me pity Both helped my craft a bit the emphasis is pithy Clearly it's an issue of mental ability Not quite sure how to fix before they bury me Running out of options apart from be consistent So far any time I start a habit life don't listen Try to keep acquaintances turn them into friends Use them for support fail and make amends Too bad that tactic really only works in movies A shame that I've been called out and then that's been labeled using