why?

Hey, how's it going? Eighteen years hoping for change yeah I know it One year has passed where I should get a focus and I just keep going and going and going with no sense Hopeless Every damn thing that I've focused People are just telling me to destroy it my faith, die Tell me, why Do I cry Every time has destroyed my faith in light Why do I keep telling her that everything's alright? Why can't I just be myself, I really fear that she might go? Right. I keep telling my head that it's fine, it's fine, it's fine I just need that validation Too bad that I can't just end all my days and Just leave my family behind My friends won't mind Please realize that I won't be alright Fucking my head daily there's no way to escape it Every mirror in my room yeah I just wanted to break it Every time I see a bottle yeah I just wanna take it Every time I see me crying I just wanna erase it F*ck ATRXX, you're just a better me Why can't you just really be like me? I hate myself There's no help Let me drown Let me break What's the point of living, lately I've been feeling shitty Yeah I'm always fucking tripping, yeah I'm always fucking sipping I'm insane you can't dismiss it, so much pain I'm feeling dizzy All these drugs they got me spinning, feels like I am never winning Neue sins every day Es ist schlimm, zu viel pain Ich glaub ich werd' bald insane Demons reden in meinem brain (yuh) Flüstern in mein Ohr und sagen du bist jedem wayne Hab kein Bock zu leben, ay ich quitte dieses game Drugs took over, nie mehr sober Fühle keinen von euch motherfuckern, bin ein loner Welt voller NPC's, deshalb ziehe ich Chemie Hab' kein Bock auf eure Scheiße, guckt mal nicht so schief Ich hab negative Energie, bin im Loch ja viel zu tief Nimm' die Drogen dass ich flieg', mein Gehirn ist inaktiv Ich bin fucking depressiv Bitte halte Abstand von mir, denn mir geht es grade mies F*ck, ich hab' kein Bock auf den shit F*ck, ich werd' bekloppt f*ck ich trip' Was hat dieses life für ein' Sinn Kann nicht mehr ich hoff' ich sterb' quick I want to die Don't want to fucking cry I'm not fucking alright I might end my fucking life F*ck, it's too deep Should I go? Should I leave? Am I fine? Do I need Just to sleep, just to sleep? Stop, what am I doing? It's driving me crazy, I just can't undo it I'm hopeless why I can't just be like the person That I've slowly built up from ashes and dirt I should know it Time has destroyed my faith in light Why do I keep telling her that everything's alright? Why can't I just be myself, I really fear that she might go? Right. I keep telling my head that it's fine, it's fine, it's fine I just need that validation Too bad that I can't just end all my days and Just leave my family behind My friends won't mind Please realize that I won't be alright Fucking my head daily there's no way to escape it Every mirror in my room yeah I just wanted to break it Every time I see a bottle yeah I just wanna take it Every time I see me crying I just wanna erase it F*ck ATRXX, you're just a better me Why can't you just really be like me? I hate myself There's no help Let me drown Let me - Break