God

I guess it’s been along time since I’ve been talking to you And I guess I was afraid of what you say about what I do Or condemn me for the way I am Man I’ve been in the darkness for so long that I've blinded to the light I pray for better days cause there’s too many sleepless nights When my light seems to fight with my dark Or the dark seems to stomps out of every spark God why do you let this happen to me It’s killing me my anxiety Are you even hearing me But it’s like When I have problems Who do I look to to stop them You’re the scape goat for everything wrong with my life like I’m talking to you her Then I’m talking to me Then I’m talking to you now I can’t even breathe But I hope that you see Me running in this circle that I can’t seem to leave I am always taking the lead but Then I put you behind but Now your stuck on my mind but The happiness that I try to find is written between all of my lines And I hope that I can still finish on time ya Waitin' I'm fading out Wont you call me Don't you want me Tainted I'm wasted now Thought you saw me Break my fall please I’m defensive because I’m behind enemy lines in my mind I’m more broken with every line that I cross I try to pray to you but I only seem to to complain to you And hope for a change that I’m needing from you Like what’s wrong with my brain In my thoughts I get lost But you made me this way so Maybe I should’ve prayed to hear what you wanted to say but I’ll have to save that for another day cuz my pride won’t let me say that I need to say ya Why do I talk so much but never listen Maybe the silence would sound different If I would shut my mouth and let you in But that would mean that I would have to accept That there’s something that I’ve done that needs forgiven But I’ll just blame you like I always do And say God I only want advice when I’m going through hell Nobody gets it But I guess it’s ironic cuz I'm spillin' my guys in all of my rhymes and all of my lines But there’s still parts that I hide from everyone else I’m so hypocritical of myself Waitin' I'm fading out Wont you call me Don't you want me Tainted I'm wasted now Thought you saw me Break my fall please You can call me crazy I really am maybe I’ve given up on love Because I’ve chased down everything that I wished that it was And I've picked myself up enough Each time a piece chipped away looking back at old mistakes I'm wishing my thoughts would take a break I’m a nobody who wants to be a somebody I brought myself up for nothing But sitting here alone checking my phone Ostracized and all alone With no notifications I care more about notifications than I do relations I’m not good with sharing my feelings But it comes out when I talk to God And I think it’s odd But what am I supposed to say That I’m on my knees every night for him to take the pain away I lead in rejection It's simply no question But wasn't the easiest of lessons to learn But what I see when I look at my reflection Is a messed up complexion with no direction But I see myself in a broken mirrors perspective Depression kreepin' in Skeletons wantin' in They tell me to think of me And sometimes that’s all I see about me Everybody asks if I’m ok Like what am I supposed to say That I go to sleep hating to see the day I’m numb but I’m fine People say don’t let your past define you and even have I Cuz if you let these feelings remind you Then they'll bury you so deep inside of you that you can't even find you I lie awake feelin fake with every short breath that I take There’s never a me that I won’t freakin' hate So I can’t save myself I've stalled at the gate And I’m late in this marathon I’ve lost pace So God take it I’m done I can’t run on my own So lead me to the way that takes me home ya Waitin' I'm fading out Wont you call me Don't you want me Tainted I'm wasted now Thought you saw me Break my fall please Call my name and I'll be there Call my name don’t be scared