Outcome (Outro) (feat. atypical)

Distant, can you see the difference, if not then please get close Struggling to find myself since I look decomposed I look into the mirror, I see pain, veins, blood and bones No skin, no heart and no lungs, just a ghost in my reflection I can't find the answer, so I ask a different question I can't make my mind up, I just move shit like I'm 11 Ask me how I'm doing on a scale from 1 to 10, i'll lie and say that I'm a 7 But I'm probably a 1 or 2 Ain't been the same since I saw the girl I love's face on the fucking news Ain't been the same since I first cut myself and made my own wounds And I only did it cause I felt control of the pain that I knew Look around, so many hearts been broken and the love is not spoken And love's a language, but hey baby just please don't come close Cause it is killing me inside and out and I'm dead But I can't figure out if life's awake or it's dreamt Or will I wake up in a box, suffocating Or will I be stuck in the darkness, gone and so damn vacant Will I be an eternal memory that's fucking wasted Will I be in the ground for worms to come in and take and will I Will I tell me what I'll be It seems that everyone around you thinks they know more about me It seems that people think they know your mind from shit that you speak But they don't know inside your mind you hide and silence your screams And now I'm an antisocial deviant, my heart fucking sinks But when I'm alone in my room I grab my mic and I sing I write down poetry that rhymes so I begin and I read And then I fit it on a beat and people think that it's neat But f*ck it, this is my only emotion Music is my diary Therapeutic pleasures cause big label names to keep an eye on me And now they wanna spy on me and make sure that I'm clean But this whole project's about demons and the pain that I have seen So I don't need it F*ck the world, I'm gonna stay in the ground An independent body son of satan shaking the ground And honestly, they try to lie to my face But in reality I tell them I wish I could die every day So I could feel the same pain that I felt once So I could make my own cuts, my own scars And look at them and read my name And see Ascension Parish every single day in the grave Ascension Parish is a graveyard Said to bury victims of suicide A place in my head A place where people would go to mourn the energy of those who couldn't be saved And I remember writing the story of Ascension Parish in 2019 I was lost then, I didn't know where I was gonna end up A depressed young me with no hope in the world There was days where I just wanted to die And now, fast forward, I'm living life And yet I still feel like I succeeded And I feel dead And I don't have any emotion And I look back on my past and think Is this what I wanted Is this really what I wanted And I take no regrets from it And I'm just scared of the fact that a young me wouldn't know how to handle my mindset And myself And how I live I made this project to expose my demons And my life for being so dark And knowing that my mind isn't easy to get along with It's hard to live my life knowing I will never be able to trust a soul And I'll probably end up dying alone I don't like the idea of being happy with someone else And needing to rely on someone else's trust And the reason I made this project is because I like the idea of being alone underground Where no one can see me No one can touch me And talk to me And only stand over me and look And realize how much they really fucking cared Because only It's the only time people fucking care When it's too late to tell you how they really feel And people Will People in my life who are fucking fake to me Will see that I'm dead and go Atypical Issue He was an artist He used to be my friend But the truth is I don't have fucking friends I have brothers. I have family And that's fucking it The reason I'm saying all this is to open your mind Who's really your friend and who's really just there Because they gain more from being your friend than they gain from not knowing you at all Ascension Parish is my happy place Where's yours What's it called What's it's purpose What is your purpose in it Don't be afraid to create Ascension Parish is my happy place Because it's the last place I want to see anyone Suicide is not the answer And I hope you have the right- The right people to pull you out of your darkness I am here for you And I love you all At the beginning of this album you were told I was believed to be a hell spawn The truth is my dark past is never intentional It's just the people The people in my life were too afraid to step into my mind and help They assumed I was too late At the point of no return I was labeled as soon to be dead A suicidal freak A fucking demon A monster and other things And when in reality I'm a human being And I'm not afraid to be myself And neither should you So I thank you all For taking the time To step into my mindset and come to Ascension Parish I hope to see you all again soon Love you all Goodbye And thank you for coming to Ascension Parish