All Prayers Ain't Nice

In this season of my life, I've done nothing but grieve Grieving the dead and even living human beings Folks say, pray for comfort Well, how do I pray to a God who took so much away from me It sounds crazy to reach out to the reason I'm hurting The Bible says, give all your worries and cares to the Lord for he cares about you How caring were you all those nights I cried myself to sleep It's like my heart is either in love or hurting There's never an in between God, you're selfish You want to be the only one I run to You placed me in isolation so I could grow closer to you You want to be the one to provide all my needs But what if all I need is a hug You can't even touch me There's times I need a pat on the back to be looked in the eyes and told I know you're hurting, but you're doing a good job God, my love language is physical touch So how could you ever love me the right way How can you love me in my language when I can barely hear you speak Most times I confuse his voice with my thoughts I mix up signs for coincidences God, I'm not good at this This path is so narrow I feel like I don't even have room to breathe I am not one of your so-called soldiers right now I'm weak There's not one strong bone in my body I can't cry out because there's no tears left So I yell I write poetry that part of me is too scared to share But the other part of me is hoping that someone out there has prayed this same angry prayer well Keep praying Through your anger and sadness pray Don't let your feelings cover your faith Don't let your fear get in the way God don't care if you yell, just stay close Big feelings can never stand a chance against faith the size of a mustard seed Your emotions will never be too heavy for God to carry Pray God don't mind confrontation Because it's harder to bless you when you get distant