Alone

Englewood, summer, cellar first time I felt the seams fraying A little lost, aimless, scooping vomit out the drain Afraid to blink and unfreeze my face Afraid to think cause these thoughts do nothing but race So far from those days when everything hung in space Warm rays in the sky, skin like soft lace Still feel your touch, the pressure of your hips Sweet selfless soul, soft blessings of your lips You were everything, and we were both so exposed, but Nothing lasts, and we all know how that shit goes Since then I strayed so far from the path Fucked up a few good things Had a few emotionless flings And a few that left me just a little fucked up Head in the sand so long I can barely look up and Look, every song I'm lifting weight from my chest And still I'm using other people to feel less Alone Don't want to remember that bus ride from the 'Sco Few hours ago I left her crying behind her door And I felt so much, and felt nothing at all So I turned it on myself, left some blood in that stall And Look, I been bitter, been broken, I been alive I will never understand my fear of letting you inside, or Why the people who care also scare me most Why I run for that door cause I can't take it no more Why I'm so unfeeling and I'm such a bastard and Why everything I touch turns into disaster Why I'm desperate to find a better half to make me whole Why I'm so tempted to build my four walls inside this hole Knowing I left you worse off hurts more than you could know Overwhelming, grab that fucking knife and out this world I go I got so much love to give though, to anyone but myself But I need to be saved too though I tread water pretty well Just floating- drunk, high and hating myself Not swimming, I'm drowning, darling Save yourself