This Isn't The Me I Wanted You To Be

I remember when you were small Helping me decorate the Christmas tree Stood on a chair doing dishes with me Always beside me watching carefully You grew up strong I was proud to see But now you're lost and I feel helplessly I see you slipping through my hands Like sand in the wind fading fast I've walked this road before I know the end But I won't give up I'll fight again This isn't the me I wanted you to be I know the road you're walking Cause I've been there you see I prayed for your future For light in your eyes Now I'm watching you fall It's breaking me inside This isn't the me I wanted you to be I've known the jail walls holding you in You're lost in shadows trapped within Your boys still ask when you'll be home They don't get why you're out there alone I've seen this pain and I know it well But I'll keep praying you'll break the spell Tents in the cold nowhere to go The drugs and the pain steal the girl I know I'll keep reaching no matter how far Keep loving you wherever you are I dream of the day you walk through the door Your boys by your side the shadows no more We'll sit and we'll laugh nothing to hide Till then I'll hold hope you'll come back with pride This isn't the me I wanted you to be I know the road you're walking Cause I've been there you see I prayed for your future for light in your eyes Now I'm watching you fall It's breaking me inside This isn't the me I wanted you to be I once was you lost in the dark But I found my way back still bearing scars If only you knew the strength I see There's a fighter, a mother, waiting to be free This isn't the me I wanted you to be I believe in you Believe in yourself And the me you were meant to be