jinx

I've spent my whole life living through others And undermine my issues with fake lovers But all that really helped me do was learn to fear trust Then you came along and shattered my truth And occupied my mind and time with new Thoughts of you and I in a life I wish to live through Because it's just you I didn't wanna say anything Because what it I jinx it If I said I loved you then What would you think and I'm hoping that you feel the same But I hoped in secret Because what if I jinx it I, I jinx it I've been seeing all the signs but what if I'm just trying to convince my mind that it's Something more than self-deception, something I made up to Hide all the delusion and save me Because if you say you don't really feel the same things Calling all this as I would is dangerous Don't know what to do I've never felt this before So I didn't wanna say anything Because what it I jinx it If I said I loved you then What would you think and I'm hoping that you feel the same But I hoped in secret Because what if I jinx it I, I jinx it My greatest fear is speaking up Then hearing silence Knowing that I messed it up Then trying to save it I'm hoping that you feel the same But I hoped in secret Because what if I jinx it I, I jinx it I'm trying hard to release Everything I've collected before this But undoing an entire belief isn't the easiest thing I'm trying hard to let go Let you in, let you love me like I want But I hope you feel the same So don't blame me If I don't say anything Because what if I jinx it If I said I loved you then What would you think I'm hoping that you feel the same But I hoped in secret Because what if I jinx it I, I jinx it