No Place To Cry

I'm eleven years old at the 7-Eleven Arizona and some Combo's sent in from heaven Heading back on my bike backpack strapped tight Right turn thighs burn but the breeze that's nice It's another fucking day in the neighborhood Lawn mower biz popping yeah the pay is good Fucking eight dollars an hour told my friends I'ma be rich Begging for nine I'm at the door like Please miss The tea sitting in the kitchen bathing in the sun Just waiting to be drunk by the kids I'm licking my lips some hotdogs on the grill The smoke filling my nose but I love it nonetheless Now let's go down to that swimming pool Mother doesn't quite know what we get into I be sinking to the bottom ears are popping Jumping off the high dive all my friends are watching When did it get so toxic? I sit in my room and all I can do is just (cry) Reminiscing on the past you can't have it back the only reaction is to (cry) Now my life's so stressful to let loose I don't get to play no more I go (cry) It's my only emotion this the future I wanted and I made a devotion Twelve years old I was walking on a sunny path Nothing weighed me down except coins and some crumpled cash Coming back home from fun I had Have to run a bath get the smell of outside off my troubled back Unbuttoned plaid shirts adults are plastered On the back porch cigarettes made their laugh hoarse But it helped me sleep oddly comforting I wouldn't toss and turn woke up when the sun flood in Trees rustling bees buzz in the blue hydrangeas The smell was something man Who are you hi stranger! You want some lemonade that I've made? Was awfully proud of it unlike anything I do these days I miss my gooey face I miss the dewey days I miss the skinned knee rawer than some sushi pain 'Cause it pales in comparison to the present No light in life anymore it's scarily fluorescent I can't bear to speak a sentence won't be there just leave a message Feel despair deep in my essence when I (cry) There's no other way to cope with this I either find where my notebook is or I just (cry) I feel as though I left my soul behind had a spirit that was solely mine Now it's different so I (cry) And I just pray this art can bring it back I'm sick of feeling detached Take me back Thirteen's when it started going downhill Getting counseling cause the frown's filled my face Those around still started to go without a trace I'm getting so walked over the ground's at my waist Now I'm tryna retrace both the place and time When we had dreams to chase and fucking grace to find What once was a clean slate went straight to grime Stuck with this sealed fate and no place to cry