Obvious Damage

You gone but we still speakin' You're the reason that I blacked out all last weekend Spent years of my life up all night tweakin' You left 'cause you felt weak Put that needle in your arm and gave the pain to me Who I become You'll never get to see You're the worst memory I try not to feed For this music and this dream I'm glad to bleed You never taught us much So I guess the vision was inside of me I'm not gonna put this on luck The day you died you told us that you just don't give a f*ck I guess being a mother just ain't as good as drugs Now you hit every relationship with a slew of issues with trust The past is still trying me And you furthered sibling rivalry Me Noah and Ashleigh still struggle with anxiety And we all barely speak And we all have our own crude abusive tendencies And it makes me sick that you'll never know what it is that you did to me Left me and my brother to a stranger one addict to the next Two kids with no tools to manage their stress And he hated me so much I thought that I'd be better dead An emotional punching bag walking on eggshells A father who should be helping with my mental But he's got coke to sell If he's not busy making my life a living hell When I was 23 I tried to kill myself 'Cause in these memories I still sit and dwell You gone but we still speakin' You're the reason that I blacked out all last weekend Spent years of my life up all night tweakin' You left 'cause you felt weak Put that needle in your arm and gave the pain to me Who I become You'll never get to see You're the worst memory I try not to feed For this music and this dream I'm glad to bleed You never taught us much So I guess the vision was inside of me I'm not gonna put this on luck The day you died you told us that you just don't give a f*ck I guess being a mother just ain't as good as drugs Now you hit every relationship with a slew of issues with trust I can't blame you forever And the days been gettin' better But I'll always hate the fact we can't spend a day together I know I'm angry But I'll always have a lot of love I personally understand that life can be tough I wish I didn't care so much But I'm totally overlaying back and giving up I know you're not here But I'll build something special just for us I'm practicing forgiveness So I think I'll start here Be thankful I get to see you when I'm looking in that mirror Be brave since you spent your life in fear Be grateful for the strength in every single tear Maybe call my dad He probably just had the days first beer And I'm a forgive him too Since he didn't disappear Talk about how we miss you and how we all wish you were here