Reflection

I'm seeing all the signs That's leading to dark days I'm teetering to the side And watching the stars fade The beauty in your eyes Is making my heart break Mistakes eat me alive I'm stuck in a shark tank, survived But was it worth what it cost I can't reverse what I've lost And is the worst in the past Or is my life better off Without myself in the way There's nothing helping today I got so much that I could say But I just locked it away I tell myself like everyday Today's the day that I'll change But in my heart, I know I'm broken I've been stuck in my ways I take this pain that I've been given And I smoke it away My opportunities are wasted When I'm lost in the space Where I just hate what I've become Replay the shit that I've done Like it's a movie and I watch it 'Til I'm gripping my gun Wish I could overcome this feeling But instead, I just run To open bottles to the point Where drinking's no longer fun It's like a part of me's my arch enemy Start to see him often Hard to part with half a heart I keep the key to where he's locked in In the closet hear him knocking Try to silence the noise But I've never stopped it Hear him talking, try to quiet the voice I end up boxed inside my conscience As I run through the void I'm feeling lost without an option 'Cept the ones I avoid I know I probably could blossom If I made the right choice But those have always been the hardest It's a pain to find joy I was hoping to find My peace of mind I always knew I would fly Until I touched the sky Use the galaxy of stars To guide me to new heights I'm balanced from reaching far And taking a full stride The beauty in your heart's The reason I still fight Regardless of all the scars I'm living a real life, in charge I know it's worth what it cost I can't reverse what I've lost And if the worst is to come I know I'm still better off I had to learn my own might Defy the world to find light Ignite a fire in my mind Let it rise 'til it shines bright I tell myself like every night Tomorrow, I'll do it better I guess a part of me is healing Mostly writing these letters The same pain that I was feeling Now is light as a feather I took control of where I'm going Got my sights on forever I never liked who I was then But now I love who I am I ditched the script and gained a vision Saw the world in my hands There's nothing I could never conquer Know exactly where I stand No longer bottle up my fears As I act on a greater plan It's like half of me's in the past But I need him to make it past Can't delete him 'Cause he's the reason I'm seeing a different path So, I bring him, I hear him knocking Ignore him, I keep walking He's talking but I ain't stopping What he says, I do the opposite I even found my confidence Walking outside the void I ain't lost, never out of options My demons start to avoid me Stopped listening to the voice And I blossomed, it was a choice It was the hardest one to make But it led me to find joy I was hoping to find My peace of mind I always knew I would fly Until I touched the sky