Loves Deception

Alone for the first time facing my mistakes Realizing the damage I couldn't take back Struggled with drinking buried in selfish pain I lost sight of what mattered and took you for granted Reached out to you couldn't let you go But broke a protective order trapped by my own flaws The same mistakes that pushed you away And set me on this path facing the weight of my choices I thought we were bound by fate but I was blind Fueling the fire that would lock me inside Now I'm paying the price behind bars with no escape Haunted by my actions that shattered our fate I was once your Superman Clark in the flesh You were my Lois our bond felt fresh Wouldn't trade a second wouldn't hit rewind But when you left me behind last thing on your mind Busy chasing others while I was serving time Seeing her with someone else cut deeper than a knife But we were still married still living separate lives I tried blaming you though you weren't in the wrong Just hurt hiding from the pain all along Loneliness overcame me sadness took ahold Depression hit hard My spirit grew cold Felt like a ghost nothing left to unfold No fight left losing all control Wanted it over trapped in despair then I felt God's hand reaching from the air In the midst of the pain I learned through my mistakes A lesson was shown as my soul began to wake Locked in a cell staring at the wall Thinking about my life trying to end it all tonight just letting it go Then Jeremiah 2911 caught my eye The words of hope when I was ready to go that saved my life Almost slipped as the darkness took ahold But God shined his light and darkness let go From the dark I emerged learning how to cope Each day grew brighter I found a flicker of hope Prison walls echoed driving me insane But I fought through the storm breaking through the pain Fighting to survive I faced each endless night The storm inside too heavy to contain Battling demons trying to stay in the game Two weeks in solitary nights full of fear Felt like drowning with no one near I held on tight saw God's light appear From the depths I rose my path turning clear But feeling abandoned in prison's cold embrace You left me behind filling an empty space With no way to escape I smoked K2 to numb the pain Lost in my despair it seemed like the only way to stay sane Needles pierced my skin Tattoos to kill time and cope with the shame Each inked design a symbol of the pain I faced Serving time leaving my mark in that broken place You left me for another but I grew through the strain Broke free from the sorrow embraced the gains Love turned sour heartbreak became pain Caught behind the bars of betrayal's domain Abandoned and lost my marriage left shattered missing my son like nothing else mattered In my sorrows I was drowning my chest felt crushed I was like Floyd searching for a breath I'm in the depths of my suffering searching for the light Lost in the dark battling endless nights But through that darkness I started to believe A flicker of hope giving me room to breathe Through all the devastation found my redemption A soul reborn without pretension I was once your Superman Clark in his prime You were my Lois back in that time But now I'm free stronger than ever Let go of the hurt I'm bound to endeavor Fourteen months in a cage but my mind's still free Had to break those chains to find the real me Was lost in loves lies but now I see There's more to life than what you did to me You promised forever but left with ease Took our dreams and brought me to my knees But I stood back up found my own peace Let go of the pain let my soul release Out of the cell though the scars remain Had to forgive myself to ease the pain No longer bound by the past or shame I won't be defined by the mistakes I've made Paid my dues for the price I paid But now I'm living in a brand-new way Found redemption in the lowest of days The road was dark but I found my stride Let go of the anger pushed the pain aside In the depths of despair I learned to thrive A second chance now I'm fully alive The past still haunts but I've found a new start That love scarred me deep but it mended my heart PTSD shadows the turmoil won't fade Counseling helps but those scars still invade Prison's grip left wounds in my mind Fighting to heal leaving the pain all behind I've learned to let go and walked my own way Now I'm free from the darkness Now god is my way