Ego Death

Now I lost my sanity my mind I ain't Seen it since going insane but then Again who's to blame Never been the same ever since you Passed uh a fatherless son I never Thought I'd be the one Nowadays I just keep to Myself People close to me just plot on my Demise I'm just plotting to wealth Took a while just to get in this Headspace My conscious mind been Haunting me Ever since that tragic day Them Therapy sessions, they ricocheted I'm in pursuit in searching of some Light But I'm plagued in darkness Valley of the shadow of death, I'm Stuck in shade Reminiscing four years back I swear Your boy really was a mess Slavin' in my mind wasn't really at My best uh Demons working overtime never Finna rest I ain't adequately smoking Marijuana don't you Judge me I got stress yes Being 16 with no father detrimental That's the type of shit that gon' be Fucking up your mental I once cried in a classroom, I didn't Wanna show it I lied on my arms I didn't want my peers to know it My idol died at 52 my pain I Couldn't hold it Having flashbacks fighting tears Next to your tomb Sza crying on my shoulders don't Know what to do My older sister need me, but I need Her too That's when the thought of suicide Really came to Cause I ain't really wanna live Through the shit I fucking went Through Last time I saw my pops was on a Sunday You see when he was sick, I Was living with My mom on a permanent basis So I Went back to the hood just to visit My pops just for the weekend Monday I had school, so I hated I was leaving So soon So I entered his room just to Say my goodbyes My first glimpse of my father's eyes Brought tears to mine I've never seen him this sick, the Thought of death crept down my Spine I knew once I made my exit out this Room I was leaving him behind Fast forward two days later and you Gone I don't even wanna lie, at that Point in time I just wanted to stop breathing and Drop dead in hopes of seeing you in The afterlife Yea yea yea afterlife Yea yea yea afterlife Yea yea yea afterlife Yea yea yea In the night when my demons finna Fight When I get sad I mix the syrup With the sprite Trapped in a cell in my mind I'm Running from the devil oh my soul You'll never find In the night when my demons finna Fight When I get sad I mix the syrup With the sprite Trapped in a cell in my mind I'm Running from the devil oh my soul You'll never find Now I'm walking down memory lane Vivid memories I guess I be used to The pain Really wish that you were here to see Your son grow into the genius he Was really meant to be yea But real niggas never die I swear I be like Simba , you and Mufasa looking Down from the sky Really wish that you were here to see I done really grown up Me and glowy cooking up in the stu If you were here you'd be saying that Shit cool But pops I'ma get it by any means Yea I'ma make it to the top ain't no Way I'm finna flop yea I'ma make it to the top ain't no way I'm finna flop I'ma make it to the top yeah I'ma Make it to the top In the night when my demons finna Fight When I get sad, I mix the syrup With the spite Trapped in a cell, in my mind I'm running from the devil oh my soul You'll never find