Cry

I looked up at the sky today I thought of you I wrote another poem all to honor you I know that what I say now won't matter much In fact at all I've said it all before now But never said those words aloud I murdered you I aborted you Afraid to tell my mom the truth Don't wanna spread the pain 08/13 The day that you would be here I'm in here just tryna keep my eyes clear I hate the tears but who am I to cry When you're the one that died And I'm the one that got tatted Lied about it I ain't even have the guts to talk about it I talked around it I wish I had the ultrasound It's probably for the best though Can barely handle convos About kids and part of me Seems to think I'll never get another chance It's honestly my biggest fear my worst regret I won't forget the pain I felt The day she left to meet the doc and have it done I've now become the man I thought I'd never be And now I'm just a man that's writing letters to his kid And if I'm honest I feel sick for even feeling sorry for myself But it hurts for me on Father's Day Cuz I know that I pissed away the blessing Don't deserve no recognition But can help to hear this voice inside That tells me that I should be What I should be What I could be Who I am are not the same I'm the same exact dude who Always said he'd never have a kid aborted Same exact dude who Prays to hear the heartbeat of his child Cuz I know I'd keep him now Or her If it happened I would cherish you forever Love you like a squirrel loves a nut Hide you from the stuff that's out to get you But I'd always let you be you I'm in the booth to tell the truth and let these words come shooting through This beat is like a catalyst To spark the reign of fire coming out me like a phoenix And as I read this back I feel connected to you So let this be my last one I know it's in the past and I been looking back and No I won't forget you I just know that I can't hold on to this pain inside forever Cuz I had a dream about you last week And you was reaching through the clouds with your little hand out Yelling daddy it's ok to let go, cuz I home I forgive you and now it's time for you to do the same I'm not pain it's ok go ahead and shed your tears I appreciate the love but you're stronger than you think So this letter ain't in ink It's in blood it's from the heart All the tears I cried the past year All because of that fear Here's me drawing back the curtains Taking down another label Just cry Just cry Cry Cry