Sorry

Hey, it's me again Just wanted to let you know that I'm doing okay Just wanted to hear your voice, but You're not here with me I just want it to be simple, but I don't even know how to talk to people And I wish I did To connect and feel at home, but I'm not even comfortable to call you on the phone I know I make mistakes, but I'm still learning, and trust me I'm not fake But I'm still hurting, and sometimes I forget those that mean to me the most And that's not fair to you Don't wanna overdose I'm sorry Done things I regret Not talking to you or being with you When I had the chance I'm lost But I deserve this Don't you think? I've lost all hope and reason to be who I wanna be When I was a kid I thought love was for everyone, but Now I realize I'm not everyone Wanted to change the world And make people happy But I can't even help you beside me I wish that it was easier Or maybe they're excuses 'cause The truth is even scarier I'm only lost because I lost you And I can't fix what I've destroyed And that's you I'm sorry I'm sorry It's like I'm dreaming, but I'm just not waking up And I don't blame you For not wanting to talk to me 'cause I hate my voice too Yet, here I am still calling you I keep thinking of that day See, the day before called I was askin' what I should say And to be honest I was planning all the ways to keep it in But I can't really do that When the bottle's pourin' thin So, I've been lying To myself and to the world Everybody's watchin' But it's you who hasn't heard I've been planting all the flowers That tell me that I deserve But I don't call that care When I know I'm not that sure I'm sorry For everything I said On the phone, I was crying And I wasn't makin' sense I was dreamin' of the dances at the zoo We had again But I know it's hard hear me So, I'll put it to an end I wish that I was earlier Or maybe I'm a liar 'cause I've never seen you happier I'm only lost because I lost you And I can't fix what's okay, and that's you And I'll end it there 'cause You know I care about you And I always will Keep glowing