The Jersey that Doesn't Exist

I've always dreamt of A certain kind of love The kind that doesn't exist There's no white horses in the real world I'm in the tower, but no one's coming for this girl I always played Barbies by myself Already had everything scripted out And it always ended in heartache Instead of Cinderella I watched Dracula 'cause all I knew of love was that it sucked your blood And it always ended in pain But I'll build my own ladder down My feet on the grass My head in the sky now The voice in my head, I let her down It's time that I tried to go her way now I gave my own artwork letter grades To numb myself from criticism when I was 8 But it failed, I am still quick to cry The pressure to be perfect is upon my head Did I put it there, or does everybody expect That I'll gladly die just to make them smile Or am I playing on the wrong team Is there something that I don't see Did I join because this was the jersey That was issued to me Everyone keeps asking if If I'm finally going to switch As if there's something that they know That they see in me That I never knew to show Is something hiding that I didn't know was hidden Is there a song I need to sing but haven't written Maybe I've been trying so hard 'Cause I'm chasing all the wrong hearts I'll build my own ladder down No I don't know how Just let me figure it out Please give me my space I've asked you kindly Just trying to find A jersey that fits me