Vulnerable

Everyday is a constant struggle Battling these dark thoughts in my head Wondering why I feel so despaired These emotions make me feel unprepared I'm always trying to stay positive I'm always trying to keep functioning But I'm only human and that's why I keep mentioning me and my suffering I wish that I could ignore the pain And the hurt that I'm feeling If only life worked out that way It would be my great escape No need to confront my shame I don't know why I'm feeling this way I am my worst enemy When it comes to loving myself When it comes to nourishing myself Always hating on who I am Always comparing myself To those that are better than me To those that have worked so effortlessly To elevate themselves indefinitely I know that I'm not a failure I know that I'm not worthless But sometimes that's just how I feel I don't know why I let my emotions Become such a big ordeal Am I stupid to say that I don't Always know how to feel Let alone deal with the tribulations of life You told me to open up Not comfortable with my integrity Not ready to open up and confess to The conflicts that are raging in my heart The emotional warfare that is constantly blocking my path I wish it was easy To block out my emotions And not constantly feel Like I'm so weak-minded Just cus I'm being real with my feelings Why do I always have to be open It's a sure way of getting wounded I wish that I wasn't so emotional It's just a part of who I am Sometimes I wish that I could be more guarded That way I'd protect myself And maybe that would help To feel better about myself I can't escape from this negativity Drowning my positive energy But I mustn't give up Cus where I am is not where I'm meant to be Sometimes I wish that I could be a different person And not be so in tune with my own emotions Wouldn't that be welcome Too often I think about my doubts and my insecurities I know that every human has their flaws But I hate mine with every part of me I'm so scared to open up sometimes Because the truth can be used against me People that I've trusted have used it as a weapon to get back at me Then I feel so embarrassed and angry for letting it get to me I'm so hard on myself that I forget about reality Always looking out to please people That mean so much to me When really I should be looking out for me Just need to take my time to realign myself In order to be where I'm meant to be And see that I'm the best version of me Sometimes that's easier said than done you see You only see what you want to see When I'm feeling low All I see is a damaged guy with a meek mind And a heart that is too parched, knocked apart Too shocked that it can't even restart And I'm left wondering Am I too broken Because I've been so open My heart is swollen Maybe that's why I feel so hopeless I wish it was easy To block out my emotions And not constantly feel Like I'm so weak-minded Just cus I'm being real with my feelings Why do I always have to be open It's a sure way of getting wounded I wish that I wasn't so emotional It's just a part of who I am Sometimes I wish that I could be more guarded That way I'd protect myself And maybe that would help To feel better about myself I can't escape from this negativity Drowning my positive energy But I mustn't give up Cus where I am is not where I'm meant to be