Swingin' Low

I got a massive flaccid wiener, draggin' on the ground Slappin' my thighs with a thunderous sound When it's hangin' loose, it's a sight to see Swingin' like a branch from a big ol' tree I stood in the mirror, hit it with some welly Watched it jiggle like a wet piece of jelly My wife walked in, and she damn near died Said, honey, what's happened to your unerect pride I swung my massive flaccid wiener, right over my shoulder It fell between my cheeks, made a great meat holder It's like a warm baguette but way too limp Swingin' so low it makes me walk like a gimp I trip on it daily, but I'm still standing tall This floppy ol' beast never lets me fall It's too damn big for boxers or briefs And when I run, it's like swingin' a beef I tried to tuck it in, but it fought right back Now it's chillin' on my leg like a lazy wet sack My wife just stares, says, Is it alive I said, Not today, but it sure likes to thrive She says, Why's it so soft? Does it ever get hard I said, Baby, it's a masterpiece, don't you discard I got a big ol' floppy wiener, right over my shoulder It fell between my cheeks, made a great meat holder It's like a warm baguette but way too limp Swingin' so low it makes me walk like a gimp I trip on it daily, but I'm still standing tall This floppy ol' beast never lets me fall