Back Up

Holy f*ck ! Yeah I”m a little fucked up More than 1 way more than 3 ways, all the way all the time My back is fucked , I need backup My backs cracking back till it snaps I need Back up Back up Back up Being the devil’s advocate ain’t the half of it Pickup a fat sack fill up the liquor cabinet This is just a fraction of this battle I’m practicing I’m packing my bags travelling to the action pit These actions I’m practicing’s spreading like I’m cancerous It’s embedded in my head that what I’m spreading is fantasy There’s no telling what will happen Mashing kraken and hash and see ? I’m wack blacking out graduating to a faster piece These combinations I’m chasing’s a masterpiece It ain’t happen to be accident the way that I’m acting see ? I’m masking me, imagine this These habits im having to relax are acting as a counterfeit I’m not proud of it , but I’m stuck it get me out of it Like my house I’m not allowed in, So I’m out bouncing couches sinking n’ drowning In the sour showers of cowardliness over powered by powerlessness, countless ounces of powdered shit Tripping out at sounds again , going round again Chest is pounding bouncing off the walls , bout to fall grab the alcohol F*ck em all, how bout I down it Stomachs knotted like a cow hitch, build the trust up then rip it down again Stuck in a rut like calculus, been awake for days you can count the rings Each days the same , dousing in a thousand doubts If I don’t stop not giving a f*ck , I’ll be in the ground like Fountain is. (Rest easy Mark) Man how am I allowing it ? How’s it I can’t talk about it , but I get it all out while writing out these alphabets And when I rap it out I’m fascinated at the sound of it It’s a power flip , a power trip Damn this world man I’m out of it . My back is FUCKED I need back up My backs crackin back till it snaps I need back up Back up Back up I need fuckin back up Yea I’m well aware I was well impaired with no care Id be lying if I said that i wasn’t scared Each day staring in the mirror , facing death Ready to accept the fate I’m fearing next Yeah I’m like a deer in headlights Gotta get my head right to live another night Each bad decision man comes with a price But the price seems never right it’s right fucked Had nine months of no mind altering drugs, But had a slip n’ fall Hit the wrong brick in the wall, caused me all to fall The bigger the tower the more powerful it falls “One small night” now I’m running from the calls Been so long since I’ve been home to give my dog a fuckin walk Damn I miss my best friend Brent and Everett Say “I swear I’m gonna get it “ , then I call a paramedic Say I’m desperate but never care to get it , I don’t fuckin get it Never answer the parents messages, but they always know that I read it So im stressing second guessing every step I take Second I waste, breath that escapes Except I won’t do what it takes, to get my head to deflate But wait I paid 25G’s for treatment , 30 sleeps clean needed for completion To leave home after 5 days of Freedom Tossing all my readings, thinking I don’t need em “I can beat it” Just to fall and crawl back to the meetings, I was so defeated The feeling of being weakened A 3 day steak is all I needed for me to leap back in the deep end Coke and crack and Tina with the needle, everything illegal Tryna keep it on the D-low, sleeping in my car without a pillow Hit a vein watch my self bleed slow Write rhymes spit em to my people , turn heads like a freak show My back fucked I need back up where’s the back up My back is fucked , backs cracking back till it snaps Where’s the fucking back up I need to get back up Back up Back up I need fucking back up yeah Where’s the Back up I need back to get the f*ck back up wheres the fucking back up , what?