Hangman

So fuckin sick of this shit, just cant seem to get it They say follow gods plan, well god damn I don't fuckin understand, what it means to be a man so I'll rip another gram, lift off and see where I land If I can't get my shit together, Banman's a Hangman. I'm an addict and I've had it, in the morning I quit at night I'm lit that's it I'm not having another drink or rip It's been a mission to kill addiction , conditions been afflicted by the life I've been living The position I'm in is twisted, can't clean my plate gotta clean the whole kitchen Just a kid with a vision, but is pinched in the prison of addiction It's not what he envisioned, wishin he could grip his script n' flip it or rip it in oblivion The mess he's in's written in stone, nose don't work a dope addict Home won't have em', a stray cat flirtin' with disaster Aggravated by the way his brains complicated They say follow gods plan, well god damn I dont fuckin understand, what it means to be a man so I'll rip another gram, lift off and see where I land If I can't get my shit together, Banman's a Hangman Everyday when I wake up, I'm debating to take off Like a grater been waiting for these remains to shake Brains playing games, praying for these chains to break Wounds full of salt ain't my fault like a layoff, hoping for these rhymes to payoff It's like I'm taking the last face-off to make the playoffs, or I'm swinging for the fence but getting the changeup From when the sun comes up, I'm coming up short Feels like I'm wasting my time writing rhymes on the porch, drugs robbed my sense of reward Its deja-vu fuckin been here before Burnt my bridge , my doors have slammed shut I'm fucked up nose stuffed, feeling rough from what this stuff's cut with Wrong day wrong guy not one the f*ck with It's like a shot in the dark , pray to god to find rhymes in my heart But it's hard to believe in the cards But I dealt a shit hand, I cant stand the pants I'm in They say follow gods plan, well god damn I dont fuckin understand, what it means to be a man so I'll rip another gram, lift off and see where I land If I can't get my shit together, Banman's a Hangman. God forgive my sins, where do I begin ? Back's so bent, oh so tense tryna show no bend Here I go again, doubt my owns friends They say to fake it till I make it, but can't shake it cuz I'm fakin it The world's my playground, brain weighs me down Don't wanna get high but can't stay on the ground It's like I'm lost but dont wanna be found I wanna be free or 6 feet in the ground It's the bottom of the 9th taking the mound (Vendetta) I shoulda been dead a long time ago Through all the highs and lows, yo my ego grows ain't the path I chose I'm boiling up I'm poached , I couldn't even eat a piece of toast Feel so belittled by this riddle, it's like I'm in a cage stuck with a gorilla I'm not what they say , I'm weak like a willow Keep listening to my pillow , it keeps telling me to let go So lets go and let God , before I lose my family and I lose my job They say follow gods plan, well god damn I dont fuckin understand, what it means to be a man so I'll rip another gram, lift off and see where I land If I can't get my shit together, Banman's a Hangman.