J x

Trouble with the trolley aye To dear the old me I know that you're lonely And I know that you're stressed But keep on giving your best And I'll figure out the rest Love J x I have changed So much From the person I was just five years ago I have evolved It's crazy to look back and visualise all of the growth I'm changing in ways I never imagined Nineteen year old me just could not have fathomed A world I can live in where happiness isn't a ration Not wearing my cloak of depression Pretending that it was the highest of fashion I'm sitting here thinking bout my whole discography Honestly I wrote some songs like somebody shoulda been watching me Copying All of the vibes that NF's The Search was offering Hoping that someday that I could provide it to someone who's constantly grovelling Seriously Listen to 'Joshua Hall' And tell me you don't think I gave it my all A song that I wrote With a frog in my throat As I showed the way pain can be building a wall At least in the song I had someone who wished they'da called And then there's 'Depressed' A song I still think to this day is the best I wrote that in Covid Ironically nearing the end Of my episode The one where I'm thinking I'm finally friends With the Organ inside of my head Not really knowing that it was pretend Eighteen months later I'm back with 'Depression' A worrying trend I thought that the sadness was over But I got rejected from job after job after job That all I was seeing was light at the end of the suicide tunnel come closer My life was a flop And all I could think of Was nineteen year old Josh And how he'd been happy with just a degree But now all I see A3 piece of paper that's not worth the bark that was cut from the tree I think it be stupid to think I'm immune from depression occurring again Once you're an addict You're always an addict You just learn to cope on the mend Cause I was an addict I love how it felt when I punished myself for not being a ten But now I'm in rehab I give myself grace for mistakes and I know that I'm doing the best that I can I'm making new music Improving with every song that I write And I cannot wait for the night That I turn on the TV to see that Obama be bumping my song on a flight He saying like "marvellous flow for an Aussie who's white" And plugging my album for best of the year Man that'd be the life I got all these dreams that I'm gonna accomplish I promised Obama's Wife To dear the old me I know that you're lonely And I know that you're stressed But keep on giving your best And I'll figure out the rest Love J x Avatar the Last Airbender is my favourite show And I must have watched every episode a hundred times The show has so many quotables But the one that always went over my head was when Uncle Iroh said "I poured your tea because I wanted to, and for no other reason" And it wasn't until today that I finally understood what he meant In life, you should be a good person and do things for people because you want to Not for any ulterior motive Not for any favour in return Not because a religion told you to Not because society told you to Then apply this theory to yourself Be nice to yourself because you want to and for no other reason Speak positively of your body Quit that job that you hate Book that expensive holiday you've always wanted Only through finding joy in being a good person to others and yourself Will you achieve actual and long lasting happiness Become a good person because you want to And for no other reason