Do Not Abandon Hope

It was a normal Friday evening, we were settling in to watch the coup The bridges were blocked over the Bosphorus, not a sinner was getting through In these days of terror it's hard to know what to do Go out and find a stranger and give them a hug or crack open a bottle of bargain Prosecco and watch it all with a shrug The presidents says the plotters will end up swinging on a rope And all of you true patriots must not abandon hope Do not abandon The coup turned out to be a damp squib The patriots had stood in front of the tanks They'd rounded up all the hacks and the academics There'd be no more dissension in the ranks The presidents says the plotters will end up swinging on a rope And all of you true patriots must not abandon hope Do not abandon hope There will be distressing scenes shown right from the start Pictures of children suffering that will break your heart It was a normal Friday evening, we'd long since forgotten about the coup There was a woman on the telly in a hazmat suit warning us about the superflu It all begins with a ticklish cough, a sore throat and a runny nose Before long you're writhing in agony, covered all over in killer buboes Lock yourself in the panic room, smother yourself in soap And for God's sake whatever you do Do not abandon hope