Strangely Brown

New evidence has recently emerged About the dietary habits of the renowned composer Amadeus Mozart Which may intrigue classical music enthusiasts The music department at the University of Burundi Home to the largest collection of original Mozart manuscripts Has discovered tiny stains on several of his handwritten scores Upon closer examination, it was determined that these stains Were composed of a combination of faecal matter and saliva Professor Dieudonné Nkurunziza-Havyarimana-Mukeshimana Explained that these stains were most likely caused by Mozart Snacking on small chocolate-sized squares of faeces while composing late into the night Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, born on January 27, 1756, in Salzburg, Austria Is widely recognized as one of the greatest composers in the history of Western music However, he was also known for his use of scatological humour in his letters In fact, one letter to his cousin Maria, dated November 5, 1777, reads Well, I wish you good night, but first Shit in your bed and make it burst Sleep soundly, my love Into your mouth your arse you'll shove Professor Dieudonné shared We were all aware of Mozart's rather peculiar scatological letters But we were quite surprised to discover that he took it a step further And even enjoyed consuming faeces Unfortunately, we were unable to determine the source of the faecal matter It could have come from Mozart's dog, Bimberl But it is more than likely that it was the maestro himself The professor added with a hint of humour In any case, I hope he brushed his teeth afterwards!