Lost Again

I didn’t wanna wake up, if you weren’t by my shoulder Didn’t wanna be myself Tried to hide my thoughts but they could tell Slowly learning that you’re never getting any younger Put myself in this shell Negativity became my clientele You would never seem to need us All the damage felt grievous Memories are so egregious Try to understand why the worst parts are Always the ones that stand out I don’t know what that’s about Friends say I’ll figure it out Girls tryna love me for the clout All of that chasin ain’t allowed in my home no more I went & assessed myself, see why I failed so badly The first mark wrong was loving you just so god damn madly I let down the guard on my heart No thoughts that you’d ever tear me apart You never left me for good Coz now I got mental scars Long nights, I’d lay awake Hope darkness takes you away If I could open my head I’d take you out But old habits are hard to break I want no recollection of us Don’t wanna be mentally stuck Between both loving you & hating you Sweet lies are worse than bitter truths My phone enables, just gets me screwed Delete the pics & the numbers too 1 by 1, they’re in a que I’m next to U, like I’m a Q Is this the way life goes? Anytime you get a rise, know there gone be a fall Used to hate it now I’m saying is there any more? I be running at my issues, where I used to crawl Gotta let it drift away like this is Jack & Rose Ain’t gonna throw me off of all the waves that I be on I’m directing all my feelings in another song When I’m writing words, I’m really just writing poems I see an issue miles away, I already know it Intuition every day, everything is slowing I gotta look at what I say, with a new perspective I know that it’ll be ok, if I learn to love me yeah Long nights, I’d lay awake Hope darkness takes you away If I could open my head I’d take you out But old habits are hard to break