Portishead

I been tryna do this shit my whole life Sometimes it don't ever seem to go right I don't know my purpose why, yeah I wake up and don't wanna try, yeah And some days I just wanna die, yeah And mama pray I see the light, yeah But when the shit ain't goin' right And I barely make enough to even get by One day, I'ma make 'em all see the light If time is what it takes, it may not be tonight I remember we used to sit at Shari's, talk about kids, get married You'd sit and tear me down when I said I'm a visionary She couldn't see that I was quick to bury Feelings and mood was different, everyday the shit could vary When I heard the kick & snare keep loopin' on the drum machine That's when I felt like I could be myself, it's troubling That she would stifle that and fight me back with other things that I did in the past, relivin' the fact that we both fuckin' cheated So you get defensive now, throw fits, and stay annoyed But that picket fence is down, and that picture frame destroyed That's some shit you can't avoid tryna fix a gaping void Got me at war with myself ready to get the tanks deployed I'm tired of being angry, I think I've said a lot You tired of waiting on me, even if I get a shot The old me's dead and gone, I think we should get a plot And the tombstone'll read that Jerad's now in hell to rot Broadcasting live, from the place that you ashamed to be from Just give it a year of livin' up here, watch how insane you become When David Brame blew out his brains, my ex was datin' his son And open mics got shot up, everybody hit the pavement and run I made a deal with the devil to get my shit to sell Spent the last year climbin' out the pits of hell My enemies I wish 'em well, you put me in ya story That won't be a motherfuckin' story that you live to tell Causin' static, automatic, I should get some help Don't gotta shop for fabrics just to make my presence felt When they asked me who was next, that's when I said myself I'm permafried but every verse is fire, f*ck my mental health I just wanted a platform to rap and perform And leave the whole stage trashed like a graduate's dorm Jumped into a situation that seemed average and norm But I guess I didn't see every angle like amateur porn The homie told me I don't need to save hoes, you'll be hella guarded Trust me, that game's gold like the Zelda cartridge We don't follow the same codes, this ain't the health department But I make 'em hang it up quick like I telemarket This music, I'll never part with, it's a part of me But please don't think you won't be charged a fee for this artistry Arguably, I'm the hardest, please pardon me If I'm carvin' deep scars in each of ya arms and feet Watchin' arteries start to bleed