Somewhere Between Sad And Happy

I've been up for so fucking long, I can barely leave my eyes wide open But I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared Of what I could see A little light has guided me all the way home And I'm somewhere between sad and happy But I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared Of being alone My unpatient side has flickered a fire in me Years of destruction and music production Or wasn't it just a few months? I'm constanly shaking and honestly aching Or, isn't it less then I thought? Its been a while since the last time I saw you And way longer since we've talked Oh, I'm haunted by nothing, I just want to feel something So I'm pulling you into my thoughts Am I the one who pretends? Is it better to go on as friends? I wish this could be easier for me! Oh in another world, and with another girl, and without this unbeatable sting... And I wish I could feel things like you! But whats broken is broken, and now there's still hope, and it's better than losing a friend It's a cold day, a blouse and a camara flash dazzling me All I want is so risky, I'm torn And I miss it so hard to be part of a team To light up a candle that helps me to handle The blizzarding cold of my thoughts Well maybe I'm crazy and maybe I'll hate me But knowing is better somehow... I'm tryin to be kind, but I need to be honest to you Maybe I'm blind, but your light seems to shine a bit trough And I know, I know, I know It might be difficult to go... But I wanna know what life can give, oh what a gift And I, I want more, than just giving, I wanna live It's a good day, it's a bad day, it's a good day, it's a bad bad day