Late Night Thoughts

I been fiended and dreaming of a little peace now Searching and wandering for a little sanity how But they mad at me now Dont give a f*ck if they handed me down Blaze to the sound but they never gonna be coming around Pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain When its got you fucked up all inside of your brain Not really knowing if its making you sane or insane Feeling socially distant like you wanna take a ride on the train Out of town to place where youll never be bothered Hot and bothered till you sit and listen to marauders I'm an outkast chillin with some atliens Alienating people with my music till i get some millions So i can pay to keep the fucking stress away Keep my family safe and move em up out the bay Buy an island and thats where well retire and stay And invite all my friends but at the end of the day No one would follow me theyd think im just crazy And i use to be hella lazy but now im just angry Cus im working all the time for the prime rhyme 9 To five and then i work on the label and find Ways to build my empire and make it to the top Pray i never flop and get hit and stay dropped But my soul is feeling weak and unable to manage Unstable and i think ive taken to much damage My girl says shes detached but it seems only from me Wondering what the f*ck i did so if youll just please Talk to me cus i cant even talk to you You made it so hard and its always been hard to get through Cus i aint never been good about speaking on my emotions Im the type to bottle it up until i have an ocean Until it all explodes into fiery fits a rage Or a depressive episode that sets with my age If i'm lucky enough i can get it into words Maybe spit on the mic and feel how it hurts But then id probably cry in the booth until i o d on the verse All the triumphs and yet it seems life is worse Maybe to feel so strongly is my natural born curse You wanna try and fix everything until you in a hurse Forget about yourself so much you end up in the dirt Life will pass you by when you see it thatll hurt I've been abandoned back stabbed and lied too Heartbroken addicted and the jesters fool I've been ignorant and dumb down on my luck I miss all the flowers cus these weeds fucking suck F*ck i miss all my friends i use to see everyday I miss all the people that fucking passed away I even miss the friends that left me betrayed Because of the good times we had until they Had to do some fucked up shit and piss me off And now im just feeling like everything is off Because im not sure if im right or im lost On this path i travel yo there must be a cost Do i want it or not am i afraid or not Will i find what i sought will i bloom or will i rot Will i just rust and decay quit or delay Will i ash in the tray roast and fillet