94 Proof

Selfish esteem Self destructive Dreaming of wraith in a bucket Don't it get heavy whenever you holding a grudge? Lately been feelin like "f*ck it" I'm taking heart off my sleeve I been in my bag, might fly overseas Flip what I have, step in the streets Cut it in half, it's whatever the means Imma become everything they had ever projected Maybe that'll teach em a lesson Maybe the fact is ego a disease and everything it touch is infected in every perspective It's a masochist Hard won battle, here's my ass to kiss And I promise it's not for the analyst It's not a ruler that measures the baphomet Starting to feel like I don't even know my name 94 proof got me numb like it's novocaine Blood on the tracks, broken bottles and the disarray Been drowning out my sorrow, but it never seems to kill the pain Now imma shut up 'cause you know I hate the talking I've been tryna find myself Thought I had it then I lost it I though it'd be in someone else Reckless love, that shit toxic I've been tryna Empty bottle then I toss it Yeah, hard to breathe these days I'm lonely Honestly nobody know me Barely speak anything positive over myself Don't know what I want you to show me I might slip back again Another long free fall Reach out my hand Dark knight, four walls No saving him It's a lie that I tell, I like to play pretend All the lies that we tell are so paper thin Lies I would trade to feel safe again All the lies I would sell for the sake of him in reflective glass Risk it all, meet untimely end Break the crystal ball Lose fate within to be safe at last in a life akin to a sacred past Stick the rifle in, paint the wall, and complete my task Starting to feel like I don't even know my name 94 proof got me numb like it's novocaine Blood on the tracks, broken bottles and the disarray Been drowning out my sorrow, but it never seems to kill the pain Now imma shut up 'cause you know I hate the talking I've been tryna find myself Thought I had it then I lost it I though it'd be in someone else Reckless love, that shit toxic I've been tryna Empty bottle then I toss it