it still comes in waves

If you are the world What am I to you? If I was the sun Would I see through you? I'm so sick of twisting up into a knot so tight the rope breaks I'm tired of calling you again whenever my heart aches So tell me when will I stop fucking up? 'Cause the past year was all mistakes I think I'm better But the pain still comes in waves I'm no martyr, I'm a mess I'm the tear in your best dress I'm the one thing out of line in the heat of late July I'm the rain that ruins your day trip with your lovely little family An image of perfection, something I'll never be Do you see me in the portrait on your wall? Painted in red, I'm left for dead Among the others you forgot along the way to heaven I place I don't deserve So let me burn Eternal summer