NOT SO INNOCENT

I turned to the drugs cause I was paranoid I was sitting in the dark I never made a noise Life was getting dangerous so I had to avoid I was trying to speak out but no one heard my voice I got too addicted so I knew I had to quit I tried so hard but I already made it permanent I let my trauma win I had to give up to that shit I kept on hearing voices they weren't nice yeah i'll admit I didn't wanna give the look out that I was too soft I put a fake smile on my face until it dropped I was close to giving up I felt like everything was lost When I woke up the next morning, used to wish that I was gone Man I used to starve myself shit I lost so much weight My mumma was so worried I can see it on her face Seeing mum upset she must of thought what a disgrace How the f*ck can someone's son put their mum in that fucking place I'd take another pill to try and take the pain away I'd taken so much Xanax just to make me fade away I'd keep it bottled up and then I'd make the same mistakes I never had no energy I wanted to escape I thought that I was failing and I let my farther down I used to think he didn't like the way that I turned out That's why I couldn't turn to him to try and work it out So the drugs were my last option and I was committed now I turned to the drugs cause I was paranoid I was sitting in the dark I never made a noise Life was getting dangerous so I had to avoid I was trying to speak out but no one heard my voice I got too addicted so I knew I had to quit I tried so hard but I already made it permanent I let my trauma win I had to give up to that shit I kept on hearing voices they weren't nice yeah I'll admit I didn't wanna give the look out that I was too soft I put a fake smile on my face until it dropped I was close to giving up I felt like everything was lost When I woke up the next morning, used to wish that I was gone I'm still feeling all the pain that's inside I'm still waking in the morning tryna hide Covering my face when I'm trying not to cry Breaking myself down and i'm loosing all my pride Fighting all my demons I can't push 'em to the side Keep on tearing up when i'm wiping both my eyes I've been surrounded by the darkness for some time Every other day I'm feeling fine and it's alright Can I get it in Guess I have to fight I've been struggling But I dunno why My mouth is bubbling The corners are all white My mummas worrying I promise i'm alright I turned to the drugs cause I was paranoid I was sitting in the dark I never made a noise Life was getting dangerous so I had to avoid I was trying to speak out but no one heard my voice I got too addicted so I knew I had to quit I tried so hard but I already made it permanent I let my trauma win I had to give up to that shit I kept on hearing voices they weren't nice yeah I'll admit I didn't wanna give the look out that I was too soft I put a fake smile on my face until it dropped I was close to giving up I felt like everything was lost When I woke up the next morning, used to wish that I was gone