Oblivious

Back when I was younger, felt like I was gonna die Take a quick trip to the funeral home, pass me by The discoveries in my life is shit that makes me wanna cry Like why was I the only kid pondering God while the others were outside Was I the weirdo for not wanting to go outside and play a hero Made me wanna fly Throw my fists at the door A scared little kid Having an crisis at four What does it all mean? Other than the fact I was seeing shit I hadn't My nightmares and dreams making real life feel tragic But I can't feel those feelings anymore It just ain't equal It's like I'm going to war With myself and the person that I wanna be Cause when I look in the mirror and see me I don't see the one who I used to be Or at least the one I pictured in my mind Up until fourteen my life had felt pretty divine But that was the year when I learned what the world was A plotting scheme of the greatest powers Shit they told us In high school gave me less meaning than a blocked off fire hydrant My mind stopped spitting ideas Is that why I'm so violent? Trying to juggle these knives of my thoughts, just make it stop My brain is on a collision course with my ego The smallest being in mind since the idea to become an overachiever Cause them fuckers burnt me out Spent all my work and time instead of sitting on the couch And now my energy is gone If I ain't in control of my emotions, then why should I make songs The chords aren't going together My mind isn't tracking along To the all the thoughts asking me if all of this is wrong If i'm even supposed to be writing songs I should be a lawyer or something But then I'd let down all my teachers telling me I'll do something Put my name up in the limelight But I don't feel right Should I be dead or should i just be a screen-write Or a teacher making less than minimum wage Have me locked in a cage Clock in for a 9-5 and hold in my rage Cause conformity always has me locked in my ways But I wanna break out Even if I barely leave the fucken house I just know i need to find my own way to shout Cause I'm too deep to scream Is the void surrounding me my real life or is it just a dream? I don't even know no more I don't even know no more I don't even know