Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt

Woke up one morning, he rolled out of bed He found a helper with an ice pick in his head Picked up the paper, the crime rate's up two points Then he found another elf was toking on a joint Kids didn't believe in him, they thought he was a liar They vandalized his sled, they set his beard afire Santa Claus has had it, he's throwing in the towel He's moving to that promised land, way from the North Pole bowel They say that Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt He's lying in the sun, he's drinking beer He's chasing girls, he's having lots of fun Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt, he's giving up his ways Perignon and Perrier are more to Santa's taste Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt, he's getting pretty mean He's rough, he's tough, he's low down, he's wearing skinny jeans He traded his reindeers for a pair of French poodles He don't eat snow no more, he eats spicy ramen noodles He shaved his beard off, he got a neck tattoo Traded in his sled for a light green Subaru He bought himself a Ninja Blend-o-matic He's into smoothies now, he's a real health food fanatic Mrs. Claus left him, ten years to the day He's a star on Tinder now, he's dating twice a day They say that Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt He rides the mechanical bull, has a million views on TikTok He thinks he's pretty cool Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt, in spin class every day He's getting younger by the hour, he's using Botox So they say that Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt Santa Claus moved to the sunbelt Santa Claus moved