Everyone Does It Better

"You see, I intercepted your little Force Memo And moved Operation Bola Banzai to a new location And all we need to stay on schedule is your cooperation! What do you say, old bean?" "Sorry to disappoint you, Ox Goldfire, but I shan't be joining you!" "Oh, Basil Hilltop, why can't you just be a good boy and come?" "I intend to, but not with you!" "Oh, Basil, you're marvelous!" When there's a secret mission you know who to call And it is certainly not him cuz he won't help at all You see, he isn't very clever nothing wrong with that Except he's got a massive ego and a crimson hat And now his family's sick of MAGA and his friends are gone Because he went and got arrested thanks to QAnon But now he's got himself a pardon from an orange guy So when he still can't get a job he'll just blame DEI Everyone does it better Everyone gets it right Everyone solves the problem Except cis straight men who are white Blame it on other races Blame it on women too Blame it on queer and trans folk Just don't ever blame it on you Some people claim he's clueless, he's merely an ass He only sacrificed our nation for the price of gas You see, he has to own the lib'ruls, put 'em in their place He didn't know his king had leopards that would eat his face He didn't want to give out handouts, you just sink or swim First they came for Bear Claw Billie, now they're here for him And so he wants to be forgiven, but he's out of luck Cuz if you want to be a man you've got to give a f*ck Everyone does it better Everyone gets it right Everyone solves the problem Except cis straight men who are white Blame it on other races Blame it on women too Blame it on queer and trans folk Just don't ever blame it on you "You're watching the Basil Hilltop classic None of a Wound Right here on Basic Cable's Best. Up next: Rocky IV!"