If I'm Honest, I've Been Fake

Close the curtains, close the shades I don't know if I will make it through the day If I'm honest, I've been a fake So I'll play a smile and bury all the pain To the peaks of my knowledge To the hollows at heart Into a hall, to a holler Between a world torn apart Where am I? Where am I? And it was all I could do to light fires To see through the dark I'd pick myself back up, but Lord, I'm tired Of fighting this rut I set my canvas slowly steady And I hold my brush, staring lost in thought I dip my bristles into memories And I will paint in shades of all I've ever lost To the peaks of my knowledge To the hollows at heart Into a hall, to a holler Between a world torn apart Where am I? Where am I? And it was all I could do to light fires To see through the dark I'd pick myself back up, but Lord, I'm tired Of fighting this rut And if I was just a bit more bold I'd take the burning coal And hold it in my hand And I'd breathe in all the smoke Let go of all my ghosts And ask what's wrong with me And it was all I could do to light fires To see through the dark I'd pick myself back up, but Lord, I'm tired Of fighting this rut