without control

F*ck it, you know? I wish that I wasn't so alone I wish that my house felt more like a home Sometimes I pretend that I'm fast asleep Dreaming of a world existing without me I sit by myself in the crowded room My desire to create starts to bloom I just want to be someone to somebody But first I have to prepare to be nobody No one knows, and it shows That I am below Surface level, not a rebel I shake hands with the Devil To become invisible is my only goal So I can slip away without control Of my body, somethings off with my body Who am I to be somebody In this world I lie awake, a big mistake As my fears, they start to wake And all I can do is sit in my room And cry and cry like it's all I can do As I write this song, my fears come along That I am the one in the wrong The words don't translate into the things that I hate Good God I need a clean slate So when I open my eyes Much to my surprise I'm still here, filled with fear Staring like a deer in headlights 'Cause tonight, there is hope And ways to cope with pain I used this song As a way to get along with myself And I survived the night Surface level, not a rebel As I shake hands with the Devil To become invisible is my only goal So I can slip away without control