Retro Xmas (feat. The Corking Crack Band)

And of course they spent the whole of Christmas with two nuns and a rocket Just take a look around Can't you hear that sound It's Santa calling out your name Join the laughter, play the game Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall Santa's here to greet us all Magic's in the air tonight Christmas cheer, oh what a sight Candy canes and mistletoe Hanging by the fire's glow Reindeer flying through the sky Look, there's Rudolph passing by Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall Santa's here to greet us all Magic's in the air tonight Christmas cheer, oh what a sight Dear Santa, won't you hear my plea, Bring me a Commodore under the tree Or maybe an arcade down the hall I'll be the champion, standing tall Jingle bells, the snowflakes fall Santa's here to greet us all Magic's in the air tonight Christmas cheer, oh what a sight Merry Christmas Okay, that was Beating Edge with Retro Xmas and you're listening to TTFN Radio - bringing you music I philosophically despise all round the clock You know I'm a simple man from simple times… when men were men, women were women and anyone who didn't conform to my overly simplistic philosophy kept their damn mouth shut Now you have these all 'inclusive' people like Beating Edge - acting as though everyone deserves to be treated with empathy and human dignity and who think people should be held responsible to their actions and character and not to the happenstance of their birth Well, It makes me sick And then they trot out this musical drivel espousing joy and love with funky rhythms and melodies that make the heart soar in delight Well not on my watch listeners Not on my Nelly I mean Rolf Harris - he knew how to sing about Christmas. Jimmy Savile, he was another one that knew what-was-what I mean even I could do better than Beating Edge Well go on then Whoa who in Santa's jingly baubles are you and where in the name of creamy liqueurs did you come from Oooo get you Well mater and pater said I was too innocent to be told where I came from But I can tell you I am the Christmas fairy from the top your bigoted Christmas tree. I'm gonna give you a verbal beating to the edge of your life Alright, steady on Oh I'm sorry about that Well yeah I'm only trying to ask what's going on Look - Here I'm splitting you in five Hello and giving you each top quality instruments Where There you go - let hear your Christmas classic Well, okay, let's have some drums, drums Yeah Um Classic Bass guitar, okay Yeah Let's have some rhythm - rhythm guitar Okay, now we're cooking Right, okay Let's have some more Right, okay Christmas Oh, the ruddy wokes Christmas and the wokes And I hate them, baby Oh yeah, the woke people just destroy the world with their bloody telling me what I can't say Don't say that you silly boy yeah yeah, yeah, yeah But I'm not silly I know what I'm saying because my mummy told me, oh yeah And now it's bloody Christmas ruined By, by, I'm not allowed to even to call snow white anymore The snow's white baby I can see it in my eyes I can see the white snow, baby Don't you tell me it ain't there cos I can see it Guitar solo Ok ok just leave it there Just leave it Walk away Did it Was it ok What do you think Ok I'm sorry Beating Edge Yes, you are I'm sorry Merry Christmas Right, we'd better get that tree back up my bottom