The Ugly Truth

I bet you've got something underneath That purple mask of lies, Barney There's something about the way You portray yourself, Mister Gand-ay I saw Kermit yesterday Told him not to come near me Cause the kids on Sesame Street don't know But Elmo's World is a conspiracy I think Moby's got a screw loose Or Tim's got some ulterior motive I'll bet you anything he's secretly a goose But he's just too afraid to show it Maybe BrainPop should BrainStop Feeding me all these lies I've already watched history I know that JFK dies (Maybe) Mister Rodgers only wears red To cover up all the blood, or Bob Ross is a mob boss Who runs the College Board Yes a crook is Richard Nixon But he hides something more wack Tricky Dick has been mixing Every track for Nickelback Everybody that we see Everybody that we know Hides beneath civility Underneath the undertow The right and wrong and short and long The Marios and Donkey Kongs Everybody everywhere Everybody sing along Everybody is a prick Even elderly and sick Yes, it's no dirge, but I encourage: In the universe, the multiverse, the stars and beyond Every fish craves another lying near in the pond And I wonder if it's true you don't have to shop for tools If y'all are really socket wrenches being thrown in the gene pool The spacetime continuum; the fabric of being From Ming and Qing to Benito Mussolini Through the fallacies, bureaucracies, and in reality Everybody is a prick, it's true, except me