Alive

You can see the fear in my eyes right now Guess that's how I know that I'm alive right now Every single night wonder how I'ma die When I meet a woman is she ride or die Always wonder if she'll be there by my side Always feel conflicted like I can't decide Lay awake at night sometimes I fantasize About how life would be if I was up right now (Yeah if I was up right now) It's not that I wanna die I just don't wanna be alive This world ain't the vibe I got no will to survive Let my lungs stop breathing, let my heart stop beating I'd rather rot six feet in before I keep on breathing When life has lost all meaning how do I keep on seeming Like everything is fine like everything is okay When everything is crumbling how do I keep from numbing Succumbing to the darkness within my mind You can see the fear in my eyes right now Guess that's how I know that I'm alive right now Every single night wonder how I'ma die When I meet a woman is she ride or die Always wonder if she'll be there by my side Always feel conflicted like I can't decide Lay awake at night sometimes I fantasize About how life would be if I was up right now (Yeah if I was up right now) It's not all the time that I feel like this It's not all the time that I feel useless Just most the time that I feel like this I don't wanna live my life like this Something's got to give I can't take more of this Something's got to give or I'm gonna look to the abyss One single song will make me start to reminisce These are memories I don't wanna think about