The Weight and The Cost

I'll do my best to try and answer the question Because it's keeping me up, it's wearing me out, and I want you to know When I was your age I was already a mess I look at you now and I'm not sure how that you've grown up so strong If I had known that it would hurt this bad To wake up, I'm not sure I would have It breaks my heart that it makes you so sad And to think of the life that you probably could have had If I had known that it would hurt this bad To try to make sense of the thoughts in my head I'm running out of words, and for those that I've hurt I'm not who I wish I were I'm distant, longing, absent, and vacant A goodnight kiss, how much have I missed, I might never be sure My thoughts are buried in a box in the basement You're just a kid, you shouldn't have to forgive me for the things that you'll learn My beautiful girl If I had known that it would hurt this bad To wake up, I'm not sure I would have It breaks my heart that it makes you so sad And to think of the life that you probably could have had If I had known that it would hurt this bad To try to make sense of the thoughts in my head I'm running out of words, and for those that I've hurt I'm not who I wish I were In the blink of a moment, I feel the weight and the cost Of years desperately hoping, when I was so hopelessly lost As the night falls and days pass, I am filled with regret Oh, how I wish I could say that I could make sense of the thoughts in my head I'm anxious and aging with things that I have never said