What You Want?

Staring at my life it's a dark maze It be peering back but it's a sharp gaze I could speak on what it was, tell the reasons We fell apart and had those dark days Like when we used to follow at my old place You'd always end up leaving, said you need space We'd end up in this cycle where we fight and make up And fight cause nobody knew how to part ways But did you even really want me for real Wanted my love and only stayed for the thrill Did you Did you even really want me for real? Toxic love be fueled by uncontrolled pain The kind you tell yourself you won't go through again But the memories they grip you like a chain And the train of your thoughts leads you closer to insane Like, you expecting different but they never changed I know you think it's love but it's just a flame It's just a game where nobody plays for fame Maybe riches or a name or a body or just shame So you get burnt Thought we learned to love yourself first Thought we learned that trying to find love from a dom Who don't know no better gonna leave you hurt and feeling worse Talking to myself with this verse Wanted real love, was it my turn Wanted real love but I got burned I just took another L, I had to learn I had to learn If I choose violence, it's controlled rage I'ma choose the weapons but you made the stage And I just find it strange How you destroyed all the pillars and the building crashed But I took the blame But did you even really want me for real Wanted my love or only stayed for the thrill Did you Did you Did you even really want me for real When you need me, swing through with that rosé Pretend like you single, I like that roleplay Toxic love be fueled by uncontrolled pain Might just hit the streets but that's my always Sometimes I think of you when it's a cold day Like how you loved but did it in your own way Like how you treated things we had to throw away The vivid memories, some things don't fade away And lately I've been feeling resistance It's not the fact of something but maybe something's missing And I would confide but I know you probably wouldn't listen Or you would but your perception leads you somewhere different Ay, but that's cool, I know you just being you You cant see through my eyes, you cant walk in my shoes And I gotta thank your mama because she made a jewel Bad days left me amazed but I was still loving you Even when your sharp edges hurt me Even when we were losing hope and feelings moved inertly Even after arguments your entire being cursed me Even when my brain asked if you did deserve me Even when my heart said be patient you would learn me Even after trust and trust again after you burned me Even when you left but somehow ended up returning It's a Long journey