Knife in My Back

Now that we see how the colors bleed through you Young in a time when a push has come to a shrug Dancing graceless above us Unsubtle winks and a curling finger You always wanted the best for us But you never did what was best for us "Failure is not always failure" they tell you But second will always feel like a failure The readout isn't showing a number: A question mark and a four of spades And i never knew what was best for us But I always did what was best for us Every word you say is just a knife that's in my back When you dance I feel the same When someone - I never their name Pushed me over, pulled my hair back Stole my glasses, pinned my arms down And they told me what to expect And they promised, and delivered So go on and move your feet Snap your fingers in your phony retreat I was lying; I remember All their faces, and their parents And their parents' grinning faces And I won't say "I forgive you" Every word you say is just a knife that's in my back Still, everyone's looking for tickets to ride (Well, maybe not everyone; I am not them) But I feel like I've wanted the harvest to grow Without breaking a sweat, without plunging a blade "Sorry" is never a strong enough word I would say it with pennies, at least it would count There are times where I wanted to push and was still I regret every punch that I never threw They weren't natural They were decisions Exactly like everything else Every word you say is just a knife that's in my back